COMMANDMENT 9: YOU SHALL NOT COVET YOUR NEIGHBOR’S WIFE
Causes and consequences of breaking the ninth commandment
God the Father: The ninth commandment sounds: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” This is a commandment of great weight. It forbids entering someone else’s marriage not only by deed, but also by mere thought. Everything is apparent in the eyes of God, and only a mere lustful thought or gaze is a slap in the face of God. I established marriage as a Holy Sacrament. It is holy because I concluded it with My supernatural power. The spouses belong to each other by virtue of this grace and by virtue of the same grace they belong to Me. I defend marriage with my own breast and the one, who steps into its sanctity with a mere lustful thought, strikes Me directly.
A woman becoming a wife ceases to belong to the world. Her appearance and restraint in behavior testify to her respect for her husband and to the Sacrament, which she has concluded. If a married woman tries to attract the looks of other men by her appearance and behavior, she is already committing a sin, being guilty of someone else’s sin.
A woman’s destiny is to have one husband and she should stop at that. If for the sake of her own vanity, she covets the recognition of other people’s husbands, she commits a sin against the ninth commandment, which forbids to covet other people’s husbands and wives. This is not only about carnal lust, but about any lust. Vanity is lust. Greed is also.
When choosing a husband, a woman must accept him with everything that he possesses, and with his entire characteristic background. Some of these things will meet her expectations, and some she must accept and stop at that. The lust for a better husband’s family, the admiration for the resourcefulness and eloquence of other men, as well as their money and position, lead to marital betrayal. The wife must accept her husband with his family and wealth, his preferences and character traits, and then she will be a happy wife, not directing her desires outside of the marriage.
A man choosing a wife for himself must choose a woman with whom he desires to grow old, so he should love his wife. Only a woman who loves can fulfill the life of a man so that he will not direct his desires beyond the marriage, and her pregnancy, crises, and old age will not be for the man a detriment to the love and sweetness of domestic happiness. If the love with which a man enters into marriage is superficial and shallow, it rather deserves the name of lust, which will pass at the first difficulties. Then, the man who is immature to love will begin to direct his desires outside of the marriage, to escape from marital crosses and duties.
Marriage is a responsibility, so it should be concluded with great mindfulness, because it is a decision for the entire life. All nascent desires for someone else’s wives, their abilities, beauty or friendship should be suppressed in the bud. The admiration for some physical or spiritual quality can turn into desire, and it is already sinful in itself, because it pertains to someone else’s property.
So the man should stop at what he has and appreciate the gifts of the Creator; and if the choices he made are a consequence of sins and are rather a cross, the only hope to improve this state of affairs is to humbly accept the cross and fall in love with it until it becomes sweet. For if the unhappy ones in a marriage were to make so much toil and effort in the goal of saving and improving their marriage as they direct at feeling sorry for themselves and telling others about their cross, they would heal their marriages and could live for many years in happiness.
Therefore, coveting other people’s husbands and wives leads to the breakup of the marriage, spiritual destruction of children, quarrels and further sins. The secret of the joy of marital life is in showing satisfaction with what one has and the appreciation of God’s gifts. Temptations should be suppressed in the bud and one should avoid the opportunity for sin through excessive conviviality and a penchant for entertainment.
The rules that I have set out for you in the ninth commandment should be an iron rule, from which no concessions are ever made. This applies to spouses as well as to those who remain unmarried. Both are burying their happiness by breaking this commandment. Those who touch the sanctity of marriage bring a curse upon themselves; firstly by coveting themselves, and secondly by violating My holiness. I bless you, My child, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Translated from: 10 Przykazań Bożych na podstawie Orędzi na Czasy Ostateczne, które własnie nadeszły, Grzechynia 2019, p. 151-155